There is magic in illness

Dela, tell me about your experience of overcoming cancer:

I don’t even know where to begin. I have had two different experiences with 2 primary cancer; One in 2013 and the other in 2018. Both cancers came quiet unexpectedly and I dare to say in a mysterious and magical way. I know a disease is not a magical experience by any means, but personally, I experienced it that way and would like to share my experience with you from that particular angle, in hopes of shedding light to how one can at times face such important challenges in life. I hope it can be of use to you.

Thyroid cancer surprised me in December 2013. Returning  from a trip to Guatemala, a friend who came to visit told me; ‘Dela when you talk I feel there is something in your throat.’ For some reason my intuition whispered to me that I need to take her words and go check it out. Indeed, the doctor confirmed that I had a stage 3  Thyroid Papillary Carcinoma.
After the operation in which my thyroid was removed, my challenge of balancing my metabolism through medication began and still is present now. It’s an every day challenge to strike harmony and balance in the body.

In this challenge what truly helped me the most and continues to help me today is keeping a positive mindframe at all costs while allowing the difficult feelings be felt and processed as well. I must confess it hasn’t been an easy task to master but I am finally at a place where my body feels quiet balanced.

Another great tool has been meditation, prayer and a profound  conviction that all is well even if it doesn’t appear so on the surface. That the cancer nor any  disease does can define who I truly am in my heart and soul, nor does it need to be a death sentence. I am still me. And I am still here.

The second primary cancer came to visit me In 2018. I remember vividly that while I was sleeping, a thunderstorm broke out in Madrid. I remember precisely the time was 3:15 in the morning when I woke up  by the loud sound of the thunder and feeling startled I put my hand on my right chest and at that moment detected a palpable nodule. When I examined it with my physician, there was not only one but two malignant nodules of different types in my right breast. The second one was one of the most aggressive there is (ER+) but luckily very small. They wanted to do the surgery two weeks later but that familiar intuitive whisper that has kept me company since I was a child told me firmly to wait a little longer.  And so I asked to be operated in three weeks time  instead of two. During those three unusual weeks, I simply went inward and with great conviction placed all my concentration in praying and visualizing. I also began a rather intimate inner dialogue with the small more aggressive nodule, telling it that I don’t really need it with me and that it can leave now.

In addition, I began to do extensive research on nutrition (supplements, food, exercise, daily routines, thoughts, etc.) that would help fight the cancer. It was going thru a very surreal three weeks of profound and intimate contemplation with life and my own existence in it.

After these three weeks I finally had my surgery and funnily enough, out of the 2 malignant tumors, the most aggressive one was not detected in the biopsy. The doctors couldn’t understand what had happened but this aggressive tiny tumor who was coming for my life had completely disappeared.
I have my own interpretations of what happened there. Again, I do not intend to be an example to anyone but only share my own personal experience with you.

Now cancer free for over 5 years now, what these 2 experiences taught me is that we are MUCH more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. Thru my journey then and still today in all aspects of my life I have discovered how at times it’s important to surrender to what is and step into radical trust. To believe in he immense  power of one’s  mind accompanied by the profound conviction of the heart. I also learned the importance of living a clear and coherent life that resonates with your soul because the soul can always guide you towards health and inner freedom.

My soul did not want to leave and so I am still here today with a  deeply engrained sense of gratitude for every single sunrise that  I am lucky enough to be part of.

I know for a fact that these two experiences have been and continue to be a deep teaching experiences for me to this day.

I have learned firmly that nothing should be taken for granted. That to feel is to heal and it’s been my mission ever since to feel as much as I find courage in me to feel in my life. To connect more with the fullness of life and not allow the neurosis of the mind take over my existence. To appreciate the small and simple things , like sipping a  cup of afternoon jasmine tea with a friend or to caress my little dog. To savor an apple or a good wine. Enjoying a rice without tomato. To connect with a soul companion and share, cry and laugh away. And the list is long..

I have also learned and still learning that we have come into this world to simply be ourselves and nothing else. We are here to explore this magical yet messy thing called life. And even if the road can get bumpy at times, the deep conviction of believing in your inner being can help you push forward with grace and conviction that life is very precious and worth fighting for.

I can only hope that this intimate sharing from my part can also tickle you to look within and find that natural inner strength that resides in you. To listen much more to your heartfelt soul than the insecurities that we all carry. In the end the choice resides in us.


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